Put On Your Big Girl Panties

Wow! Where has the time gone?

I cannot believe that my mom left almost 4 weeks ago to help 

Brielle and Carissa,

Gramma's and Granpa.

In all honesty, every day has gone by so slow,

but looking back on the last few weeks, 

it has gone by so fast as I have tried to keep myself as busy as possible.

Between homework (Yes, mom and dad I actually do it, just slower than you would like.. haha)

working, babysitting, Girls Camp, The Allred Family Reunion,

and getting ready for...

*DRUM ROLL PLEASE*

SENIOR YEAR!! WOOP WOOP!! 

The time really has flown by. 

But just because it has flown by, doesnt mean that it has been easy.

I have a new found respect for my Mama.

"I mean, she's has the mommy hair cut, she's super mom!"

(Name that movie! ^)

I have always known that my mom does a lot,

but man. She really does A LOT.

From cooking dinner, cleaning, and helping me with everything that I need.

(It's no secret that I am very spoiled and that she has very good patience)

But its hard work to cook dinner every night! 

A few nights ago, I was making chicken,

which should have only taken about a half hour.

But it took an hour and a half!
I felt like by the time it was done and I was cutting the chicken,
I might as well had one of the moments like
the sister in the movie, "Just Like Heaven"
when she's cutting into the lasagna, and she finds a plastic sponge bob in it.
It was just that kind of day.

As you can probably easily tell,
 I dont really have the best patience with cooking,

especially when I have no idea what im doing.
So bless my great husband that he may have a HUGE amount of patience with me
when it dinner time rolls around.

By the time my dad got home that night,

I was pretty frustrated.

And as great as he is, he helped me finish dinner

and it was pretty tasty if I do say so myself.

But thankfully, dad has cooked the last 3 nights.

It's been pretty nice.

After finding out that I cant have gluten,

Its been even harder trying to figure out what I can eat.

And even though she is far away,

my mom is still trying to help me as much as she can as far as finding things 

to cook. And let me tell you,

it has been a huge adjustment.

It feels as though my entire life has been flipped upside down.

But I am feeling better than ever.

So much in fact, that I wont ever go back to eating gluten.

Next up on the list for "playing mommy" is cleaning.

Alright. Here's what I have decided.

I hate cleaning, but I love clean.

Even though my room is a disaster more often than not,

I ask myself 

"Why do I let it get so dirty?"

Because I hate cleaning.

So if we just kept things clean we wouldn't have to clean them,

because they would just be clean.

Too bad that is simply impossible..

because a lived in house is obviously gonna be, well lived in.

Well, it was a pretty nice thought though, I think.

There are 3 things that I hate most as far as cleaning goes:

1. Doing Laundry

2. Doing the dishes

3. Sweeping/vacuuming

And I have to do all those things before school starts.

Really lame, but they all need to be done.

In fact I think my laundry stopped just a few minutes ago..

Bummer..

This whole experience has made me realize that eventually we all need to put on our big girl panties.

I am just grateful I get a little test run, before going to college and truly have to grow up.
And I've had a pretty great example of that to me my entire life.

Though it's hard,
She's strong, so I can be too.
She works hard, so I can too.

I have realized how incredibly blessed I am,

because over the past few weeks, 

I have been thinking about just how grateful I am that

I know that Families are Forever.

So even though we are apart now,

We will be together forever, 

and that makes me so unbelievably happy.

I LOVE AND MISS YOU LOTS MOMMY!! <3 <3

And just in case I dont tell you enough,
I think that you you are pretty incredible
and I am so grateful that I get to call you my mom. <3

[Sorry if this post was all over the place!, I tried to organize my thoughts to make sense. Hopefully it worked!]

"Go in Peace"

So for the last year or so, I have been praying for peace.

And though I have been very happy, I have not felt completely at peace for a really long time.

And so by the time Girls Camp rolled around, I knew exactly what question I was going into my solo experience with.

 Through out the week leaders and other girls had told stories about how they had experiences where they needed to have faith until the very end. Some its was a week some a month. Some only a few days. But I was so confused on where my end would be.

Trying to have faith until the end of something that you dont even know what it is,

is so difficult.

I was really struggling with what I was doing wrong because I just could not recieve

that peace that I had been praying for over a year.

I was doing everything I needed to be doing.

Praying, reading my scriptures, keeping my standards, going to church and mutral.

I was so confused.

So friday came around and it was time for our solo experience.

I got my letters from home, and headed off to find a place by myself.

I pleaded with my Heavenly Father,

asking why? Why haven't you given me peace.

I was angry because I didnt understand.

As I was flipping through my scriptures, I read a quote that I had written in,

that says:

"please understand that what you feel and experience now, is not what will forever be."

and at first I kept thinking like,

yeah right.

But as I thought about it, it did bring comfort to me.

But still not peace.

Bishop Hart came by and whispered, time to go.

And he turned around to get the rest of our ward.

But I just could not believe that Heavenly Father left me there.

After doing everything he has asked me to.

I was mad that he was just gonna watch me walk away from my solo experience,

with not even a hint as to when this trial would be over.

So I looked back down to my scripturesto close them and decided to read one more verse.

(I was in Judges 18 by the way)

And the last thing that I read was, verse 6 and it said,

"Go in peace"

I was immediately overcome with peace.

I got down on my knees and said a prayer of gratitude.

I know that I was promted to read that last verse so that I  could recieve that peace that I needed.

I know that my Heavenly Father hears our prayers and I am so grateful

for my Saviors atoning sacrifice, so that He can know exactly what im going through.

I know that if we hold stong until the end, he will help us through it.

Even if it seems like he doesnt.

I know that I am a daughter of God,

who loves me and I love Him. :)